one fork · no stove · 10 minutes

the quickest
guacamole

TODO — photo: the finished bowl

no macros on this one

The pasta needed a calorie count because that is what people ask of it. This does not. It is avocado, which is fat, and the fat is the point.

Best on toast. Also crackers, also chips, also a spoon over the bowl at eleven at night.

what you need

Five things, and the fifth is optional.

01

avocados

ripe. this is the whole recipe, see step one

02

the holy grail trio

tomatoes, onion, garlic

03

masaladani

salt, pepper, chilli flakes

04

lemon

do not skip this one

05

something green, if you are being fancy

chives or coriander. not thyme, not whatever else claude suggests

method

  1. 01

    check the avocado is ripe

    There is a small round stem cap at the top. Try to flick it off. If it comes away easily, the avocado is ready. If it fights you, it is not. Your hands will tell you the rest.

  2. 02

    if it is not ripe, microwave it

    A minute or so. I am not recommending this. But it works and you are clearly in a hurry.

  3. 03

    mash it with the back of a fork

    Leave some texture. If the avocado is stubborn and will not give, blitz it in the blender instead.

  4. 04

    chop the trio really finely

    Tomato, onion, garlic. This is the step everyone rushes and it is the one that decides the whole thing. Anything chunky turns up in your mouth later.

  5. 05

    in goes everything else

    Salt, pepper, chilli flakes, lemon. Mix. That is guacamole.

  6. 06

    eat it on whatever you have

    Toast, crackers, chips. My dad has it with puri and he is not wrong.

Measurements approximate. Tested on me, repeatedly.